[teryatina]

Эээ... это не я, это Яхуу! Видимо, народное творчество.

The Bash Before Christmas

'Twas the bash before Christmas, and all through the house
Were family and friends who were getting quite soused
The nog had been spiked with some rum, I should say
It could have been Gosling’s or maybe Mount Gay

The children were nestled all snug in their beds
Drunk grown-ups downstairs with lampshades on their heads
There was pinot, merlot, and syrah being poured
And malbec and riesling and port and…good Lord!

I’d imbibed so much hooch in the course of this year
That I figured I’d share some, to spread the good cheer
The Cazadores tequila with lime was a hit
But when mixed with the eggnog it tasted like shit

The men drank enough beer to fill a whale’s bladder
Chicks sipped vodka-sodas so as not to get fatter
My single-malt stash in a flash disappeared
Along with my date, who said I was weird

But then, who needs a date when you’ve got lots of Dom?
And Krug and Heidsieck and some fruitcake from mom
And no girlfriend at Christmas means no costly presents
Which means not spending six months in debt like a peasant

This is the part where I should mention St. Nick
But to be perfectly honest he’s kind of a dick
Early this evening he drank all the punch
Then threw up on my rug what was left of his lunch

‘Cause a few slugs are fine, but too many is wrong
And we probably should never have pulled out the bong
It just goes to show, kids, drugs aren’t the answer
Unless you’re in Cali and come down with cancer

But before I pass out, let me leave you with this
(I regret that it’s not free booze, cash or a kiss)
It’s a wish for this holiday that good cheer abounds
And that Santa comes to and picks up a few rounds